Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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