I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
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