just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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