Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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