I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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