she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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