We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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