I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
