one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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