is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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