I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
