I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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