Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
