I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
