we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
and she was petting her beer can
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
