Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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