please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
