my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
