i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
