come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
