i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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