well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
