Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
