Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
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