on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
