I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
