Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
