Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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