your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
