As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
