Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
