my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
