In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
