never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
