Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
