If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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