keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
