he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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