Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
