I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Please, let me fuck your mom
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
