We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
