he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
