so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
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You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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