We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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