I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
