I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
