I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
