Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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