Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
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