There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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