Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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