Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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