That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
what day is it and did you see me today?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
