Sry I called you an 8
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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