Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
