Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
