So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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