brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
