I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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