thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
