Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
