I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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