direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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