Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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