the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
