I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
