And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
